Sign of the Week
June 30, 2008
This is personally very funny because I recently purchased Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” from iTunes and couldn’t get the song out of my head. Meanwhile, my 3-year old daughter Madilynn insists we sing the song whenever we’re together in the car.
Privacy, Please!
June 27, 2008
I work on the first floor of a 2-story office building with fewer than 15 men on this floor. Nine out of ten times when I go to the restroom, I get the whole place to myself. Something that is important to everyone using a public restroom, right? Okay, maybe not, but I’d much rather be in there by myself.
But TODAY… EVERY SINGLE TIME I went in there (approximately 3 times in all) the place was FULL! What’s a man to do in situations like these?! There is a bathroom upstairs, but a bladder full of Diet Coke does NOT mesh well with stairs if you know what I mean. I will have to go again shortly but I need to time it just right…
We’re gonna need a bigger bathroom.
IRS Increases Mileage Rate
June 27, 2008
The federal agency sped up its usual timetable and now will let mileage rates for business travel rise from 50.5 to 58.5 cents beginning next Tuesday.
I used to work for a company that was so penny-pinching cheap that they did not participate in any mileage increases and advised employees to claim the difference on their taxes. I don’t work there anymore.
California bans talking while driving
June 27, 2008
but feel free to check your email, calendar, SMS, etc. It’s not like you need your eyes or hands to drive. 
Sign of the Week
June 18, 2008
Quite fitting for the weather we’ve been having in the Midwest…
What were they thinking?
June 16, 2008
No comment needed, really. I ate there on Saturday. Food was safe to eat. That’s about it. Luckily, nobody tried to hit on me.
-Jeff
Love Bites
June 12, 2008
I don’t know if anyone else does this, but I have a long “wish list” of songs and albums that I want to add/download to my iTunes music library whenever time/money permits me to do so. I update and add to this list on a regular basis.
One of my co-workers brought in a Def Leppard CD last week–which just so happened to be on my list. She was kind enough to let me borrow it for a few days. Before leaving the house yesterday, I ran downstairs to grab the CD and with no case, I put it in the most logical place I could think of at the time–my back pocket.
I then drove to work and a few hours later felt a stabbing sensation in my right buttock. I reached into my back pocket, trying to figure out just what the heck was biting me when I realized… oh… crap. My butt shattered the Def Leppard CD. Never before have I borrowed something and broke it before being able to return it. How embarrassing.
Did I tell my co-worker about it? No. Not right away. I’m still waiting for the right moment.
On a more positive note, I did manage to import the entire album into my iTunes music library prior to breaking it. There is now a deluxe version of Def Leppard’s Greatest Hits scheduled for release later this week–on a special, one-of-a-kind, silver-coated disc. Sorry, Jenny. I know how much you love your Def Leppard. You know what they say… Love Bites.
Stories from Wal-Mart
June 12, 2008
Thanks to Jeanie for this one…
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly ‘Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, ‘Hell no they aren’t twins! The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7-years old, Why the hell would you think they’re twins, are you blind, or just stupid?’
‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am, replied the Wal-Mart Greeter. ‘I just could not believe someone made love to you twice!’ Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.’
Sign of the Week
June 11, 2008
Keep it to yourself, buddy
June 9, 2008
I’m not trying to be rude, but seriously… I feel sorry for your kid.
