From One Dad to Another
March 16, 2009
I have a few friends and acquaintances who will become first time fathers in 2009… I wanted to give them a little piece of advice–actually two pieces of advice:
1. No matter how much they cry or scream or whine, DO NOT LET YOUR KID SLEEP IN YOUR BED. Because if they have hotdogs for dinner and get extremely sick, they WILL throw up on you or your wife and ruin your light-colored bedding.
2. Once your kid is old enough to ride a bike, ALWAYS CHECK BEHIND YOUR VEHICLE BEFORE BACKING OUT OF THE GARAGE. Because if you don’t, you will undoubtedly run it over–and maybe even drag it into the street before realizing that you just destroyed your child’s preferred mode of summertime transportation. And even though it wasn’t your fault, IT IS YOUR FAULT. It’s always your fault.
For Scott O. and Paul F.
When I was a kid my friends dad went out of his way to run over my friends bike because the tire was hanging over the edge of the driveway. He said “I told the boy not to leave his bike in the driveway, now he’ll learn to listen to me.”