Obamafried Chicken

A German frozen food company hopes to raise sales with a new product: Obama fingers. The tender, fried chicken bits come with a tasty curry sauce. The company says it was unaware of the possible racist overtones of the product.

Read all about it here

Reminder: 911 Is For Emergencies ONLY

Leave it to the Floridians. Another one has called 911 for a food emergency (see SUBWAY LEAVES SAUCE OFF SANDWICH). Don’t get me wrong; I love my McNuggets as much as anyone else, but this is ridiculous. 

MARCH 3–Angered that her local McDonald’s was out of Chicken McNuggets, a Florida woman called 911 three times to report the fast food “emergency.” Latreasa Goodman, 27, last Saturday called police to complain that a cashier–citing a McDonald’s all sales are final policy–would not give her a refund. When cops responded to the restaurant, Goodman told them, “This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn’t have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one.” Goodman noted, “I called 911 because I couldn’t get a refund, and I wanted my McNuggets,” according to the below Fort Pierce Police Department report. 

FULL STORY

McDonald’s Sued Over Woman’s Naked Buns

McDonald’s is known for its cheap meat — but after a bad trip to the burger joint, one guy’s wife allegedly became cheap meat.

McD’s just got served by a guy who allegedly left his cell phone — which contained nude photos of his wife — at the Arkansas restaurant, only to find the nude pics posted online.

Phillip Sherman was assured by employees they’d keep the phone safe, yet the photos — along with Sherman’s phone number and address — somehow found their way onto the Internet.

The couple claims they had to move to a new house to get away from his wife’s new stalkers. Sherman wants 3 mil for their troubles. Courtesy of TMZ

Assault With An 8-Inch Sausage

(from thesmokinggun.com)

Wielding an eight-inch sausage, Antonio Vasquez, 21, allegedly broke into a Fresno home Saturday morning, stole $900, and assaulted one resident with the pork weapon and tossed seasoning into another victim’s face. The bizarre crime is detailed in a Fresno County Sheriff’s Department report, the funniest document you’ll read this month.

According to investigators, Vasquez robbed the home of a group of farmworkers, two of whom were assaulted during the 8 AM confrontation. Santiago Cabrera told deputies that he was sleeping on the home’s front porch when he “felt something hit him in the face,” the report notes. Struggling to awake, Cabrera found “an unknown male bent over him. The male continued to strike him in the face and head area with a sausage.” Santiago, deputies reported, “said the sausage was about 8″ long.”

Another resident, Cesar Macias, recalled that he was sleeping on a futon in the family room when the intruder threw Pappy’s seasoning in his face. The Fresno-based Pappy’s specializes in “high quality all purpose spice blends, sauces and marinades,” according to its web site. Before fleeing the residence, Vasquez, for some reason, removed his shorts, which contained his driver’s license, credit cards, school IDs, and cell phone.

He ran into a nearby orange orchard, but was soon apprehended by a deputy who noted that the suspect was wearing “a white sleeveless tee shirt and green boxers.” However, cops were unable to recover Vasquez’s principal weapon. “I asked Santiago where the sausage was,” Deputy George Ozburn wrote, “he advised his dog ate it.” Facing a felony robbery charge, Vasquez in being held in lieu of $100,000 bail. MORE

Burger King Employee Found Bathing in Sink

 

Some workers at an Ohio Burger King are in hot water with the health department, after an employee took a bubble bath in a store sink. MORE

Customer Takes Frustrations Out on 911 Operator

Jacksonville police say Reginald Peterson needs to learn that 911 is not the appropriate place to complain that Subway left the sauce off a spicy Italian sandwich.

FULL STORY AND AUDIO HERE

Overheard on Twitter

Do Vegetarians eat fruit? Since vegetarians are kind of “fruity” people, I think we should just call them “fruitarians” anyway.

What were they thinking?

No comment needed, really. I ate there on Saturday. Food was safe to eat. That’s about it. Luckily, nobody tried to hit on me.

-Jeff

Can I get some honey with those chicken nuggets?

So I’m at the drive-thru this morning on my way to work, ordering my usual: Large Diet Coke w/o ice (you get more value for your money without the ice and I can’t stand to drink coffee). I get to the first window and after I hand over my $1.05 the lady says “Thanks” and calls me “honey”–not a big deal, but a bit annoying when it happens EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE WEEK. You don’t see any male employees at the drive-thru window saying “Thanks, honey” to the female customers now do you? That would be bad and would most likely result in unemployment. 

But today was a new day, I thought to myself. I was going to give this lady a piece of my mind. 

Just before I pulled ahead I told her ”I’m not your honey.” Awesome, right? Wrong. The problem here was the fact that I could NOT pull ahead. There was a car in front of me. So there I was, sitting in front of the drive-thru lady, looking like an idiot. I didn’t know what to do at that point so I put the window back up and started talking on my cellphone–to myself. How embarrassing.